The Fields of Hades
by Le KING
Summary: ON HOLD DUE TO CRAPPINESS - All L cared about was how good Light would look bent over his bed without his clothes on... never mind the brunette was no more than puff of shinigami-induced air. LxLight AU
1. Optics

**The Fields of Hades**

**1: Optics**

There was something definitely wrong with the beautiful brunette, though appearance-wise, he was the definition of perfection. His almond-shaped caramel eyes, gently-narrowed and glaring at L's person were magnificent, his creamy skin glowed and his long legs were so lovely, L wished To-oh had no uniform at all so that this apparition that currently sat casually in his office chair was naked.

"...Kira."

"Huh?" muttered L stupidly when sweet voice interrupted his mental undressing on the brunette.

"My name," repeated the fairy again, slowly this time, as if his audience was a group of small children, "is Kira."

L didn't hear a word of it; he just watched the brunette's cherry lips make pretty sounds.

"...Fifteen million dollars?" the creature tried again, and L only nodded dully, blinked and crawled closer to the edge of his bed to get a better look at his visitor.

"Still no? Come on, come back to earth, seriously!"

_No? _'No', coming from such a pretty person was a horrible word, so horrible that it should be illegal. The only words the brunette should be allowed to say were 'yes,' and 'now,' and 'of course L, floor sounds great.'

"What's wrong with you?"

"Hmm?"

The brunette let his chest rise and fall in a frustrated sigh and his brilliant eyes narrowed even further.

"If you aren't going to listen to me, I'll just leave."

L's head snapped and his shoulders tensed.

"I am listening to you very closely."

"My _name_ is _Kira_."

"Yes, of course," L nodded, still staring at those pretty legs.

"Now, what is my name?"

_Aha!_ A _test._ L _knew_ it. If L got enough answers correctly, the brunette would undress.

"Your name is Kira."

"_Good." _Kira looked pleased that he was getting somewhere.

"Now, Ryuzaki," Kira paused to make sure L was still with him, "I have a proposition for you."

_Here it is! _L's toes curled in delight at the mare thought of touching the beautiful thing.

"I am listening to your proposal very closely, Kira-chan."

"Call me 'Kira-chan' one more time, and I'll grab one of these surveillance cameras you got there and take a picture of your _colon_," said Kira sweetly.

"I am listening to your proposal very closely, Kira-kun."

"Well, you and I are going to steal fifteen million dollars from Yotsuba."

"Yes?" L waited patiently but Kira didn't say anything else, "Sex? What about sex?"

"What?"

"Sex! Are we going to have sex or not?"

"What? No!"

"No?"

"No!"

"But...!"

Kira looked outraged.

"Hmm," muttered L sourly, "this isn't how my dreams normally go."

"You think I'm a _dream_?"

Hell yes, L thought Kira-chan was a dream. If the beauty of the brunette had earthy origins, the fact that he pretty much teleported into L's chair was not reality-based at all. L had _surveillance _in his dorm room, the paranoid freak that he was. He had an alarm on his door and windows, motion sensors in the walls and cameras that captured every inch of his bedroom and kitchen. Nothing could get in or out without setting an alarm of one kind or another.

And if somehow Kira managed to get into his dorm undetected, he was still a dream. L supposed that if such a creature strolled the hallways of To-oh (judging by Kira-chan's To-oh uniform), L would surely have noticed him.

L remembered seeing the brunette _once_, _somewhere_, where and when though were questions he couldn't answer, and when there was something he didn't know, it was normally during sleep because despite what everyone thought, L did not dream about physics equations and Greek philosophy.

Hence this gone-terribly-wrong sex dream.

"Yes, I think Kira-kun in a dreamy apparition, now if he would kindly get in bed and skip the formalities..."

"I'm real, you god damn idiot! So's the money!"

"What money?"

"Yotsuba's fifteen million!"

"But I don't fifteen million, I just want sex," L objected.

"For fuck's sake! I did not plan this for a year only to find out you're a sex-crazed idiot with severe paranoia issues!" Kira huffed and tossed around in L's chair, sending angry glares at random pieces of L's furniture. L could tell his guest was getting annoyed, so he decided to approach the situation rationally.

"Alright, Kira-kun, let's suppose you are as real as that chair you are sitting in."

"Let's."

"You somehow snuck though my defense system undetected to ask for my help."

"Exactly."

"You," L pointed and the lovely brunette and poked his own chest, "want me to help you steal fifteen million dollars from the Yotsuba Corporation."

"Correct."

"This seems like a logical plan, but it has one flaw: in order for this to be the reality, you must be sitting in my chair and asking for my help."

"I am."

"You aren't," and when Kira opened his pretty mouth to protest, L raised a hand and signaled that he wasn't finished yet, "you are not sitting in that chair because for one, light has a property to bounce off solid objects."

Kira raised an eyebrow.

"The light is not reflecting properly off of you, Kira-kun, and you are, or aren't, sitting directly in the beam of my desk light."

Kira's chocolate eyes narrowed and his features became angry. He stood up and silently walked over to where L sat, pulled out a red maker and told L, "fine. If I'm not here, you wouldn't mind my vandalizing your property."

"Be my guest, Kira-kun," L resigned, realizing he would get no sex anyway.

So under L's admiring stare, Kira swayed his hips slightly as he marked up L's wall.

KIRA WAS HERE.

and then in smaller letters, just under it,

MY NAME IS L LAWLIET AND MY BRAIN IS IN MY DICK.

L's name, spelled correctly in obnoxious capital letters officially proved Kira's _in_existence.

"Have a good night, I'll be back tomorrow," said the apparition and left though L's door without setting off any alarms.

L really hoped next time he'd see sweet Kira, the brunette would be appropriately undressed.

---

The writing on L's wall did not disappear in the morning, or after his morning class, and not even after he purposely stalled coming back into his room for another few hours by sitting in front of the library and creeping out random students.

When the obnoxious writing refused to fade after L dined on a torte, L decided to bring in backup.

"Wow dude, you really pissed her off, man."

"So Matt-kun can see the writing on my wall also," L confirmed gravely.

"Is she hot? Come on man, tell me, I haven't seen a naked girl in like, forever. Well, besides the porn..."

"Matt-kun is high, now could he please describe what he is seeing?"

"Some pissed-off chick, and apparently she walked in when you were doing another dude," slurred Matt thoughtfully, "nice."

L stared at Matt and decided to use the approach Mello had taught him in case he needed to talk to Matt, ever.

"Can Matt-kun read?"

"Hell yeah, I can read."

"I do not believe Matt-kun."

"I can fucking rea-"

"Would Matt-kun prove his reading abilities by reading the writing on my wall?"

"Fine, 'Kira was here. My name is Elle Loli- La...' uh... I can read, okay?"

L rubbed his eyes in frustration and showed Matt to the door.

This was ridiculous.

L checked the surveillance: there he was, in all his perfect glory, one Kira sitting in his chair. There he was, walking in and out of his room, setting off no alarms. There he was, undeniably _there,_ and undeniably gorgeous.

L whistled.

Either it was the lack of sleep, sugar overdose or suspicious fumes coming though the wall from Matt's dorm, L was totally wrong. _Hmm._ L shoveled a forkful of cakey substance into his mouth and pushed the empty plate away; it was time to do some research.

Hacking To-oh's student database took as much effort as walking down to the local bakery. Fussy, but necessary.

Kira, Kira...

Just as he'd thought.

To-oh had one hundred and four Kira Somethings, and all of them were girls. L narrowed his search down to nameless males within the age groups of sixteen to twenty five, and manually went though each of their photos.

No pretty brunette and worse yet, no pretty brunette posing for the camera in sexy lingerie.

No Kira.

L supposed Kira's To-oh uniform could have been borrowed, stolen or tailored, and if all else was true as well, someone who wanted to steal 15 million dollars wouldn't mind wasting a few hundred on a fake uniform.

L had no intention of helping out the brunette. He'll make sure to tell him that. After he convinced him to take off his shirt.

Gently screwing with the little criminal's mind was much more entertaining than lying in bed and trying to fall asleep. L's latest episode of insomnia started only a few days ago, and already L was ready to crawl up a wall an die inside the ceiling fan. And it would only get worse before in a few days L would simply collapse somewhere; campus med room was all too familiar with his poor sleeping habits.

Not that he could help it.

Kira-chan... sounded fun. L dusted off his office chair, hopped onto his bed and waited for Kira to poof into existence. No Kira at three. No Kira at four, either. Five, six... L counted the even ticking of his clock, and slowly the groups of people outside became smaller, sky became darker and the noise of the passing cars subsided until there were none left to pass his window. L's eyes drifted pleasantly shut.

"L, mmh..."

L jumped up, alert.

Kira sat on the edge of L's bed, only a foot away. Well, 'sat' was the wrong word. Sweet Kira was leaning backwards on his elbows, the top few buttons of his shirt were undone and the red tie lay across his half-necked chest. His legs, though still clothed, weren't crossed and looked so inviting...

L reached.

"Don't touch." L blinked. Dream? Not dream? Kira's caramel eyes lost their lustful gaze, but only for a brief moment. "...I can do that myself."

Dream.

_Dream, dream, dream, dream. Touch. No, don't touch._

Things generally went better if L let them do what they wanted.

Kira fall back on L's bed completely and his hair fall in complete disarray and L squealed when a creamy hand glided down over the half-open shirt, grasped where the shirt was neatly tucked into offending pants and tugged on it until the upper garment came free and creamy belly skin glistened in the artificial lighting of the room.

The light still did not reflect off Kira properly, but to hell with that. Long, perfect fingers traced the toned abdomen and lifted the shirt higher and higher as they traveled upwards and Kira's face became pink and bothered.

"L..." the brunette mouthed the letter with his pink lips and L inched closer. The caramel eyes became slits of brown and Kira's other hand trailed down and started fiddling with the zipper of his pants.

L reached for the beautiful face, but the apparition gave him a warning glare before he went back to his ministrations.

Kira-chan was fussy.

"I can do that for you so much better," L offered, licking his lips.

"Oh L, you want me..."

"Yes, yes I do."

The brunette arched his back and L almost jumped him then and there.

"Tell me..."

"I want Kira-chan very much," Kira paused for a split second before grasping needely at the hem of his pants and pulling them as low as the belt would allow. "Oh god you're beautiful."

"Ah, L you want me!" L grabbed the creamy hand.

Or at least he thought he did.

He saw stars.

And it weren't the good kind of stars.

More like, the kind of stars L got from walking all over the carpet and then pawing at a doorknob.

Static.

Kira vanished.

L blinked.

Did he wake up or something?

No Kira on the bed, no Kira under the bed... No Kira. L pinched himself. It hurt.

He was definitely awake.

Damn it.

"Ahh, Kira-chan! Ohh, let me make sweet love to you..! Please Kira-chan…!" came from somewhere to his side, and when L turned, he saw one non-bothered fully dressed Kira in his chair making fun of him.

L blinked.

"Kira-chan, have sex with me now! God Ryuzaki, you are as gay as they get!" Musical laughter with a defined note of cruelty rang in L's ears like bells.

"Kira-kun would be too if he'd seen what I just saw," L resigned and made his slight boner more comfortable but sitting cross-legged.

"Nice," the brunette commented.

"If Kira-kun doesn't plan on doing anything about it, I suggest he gets used to it."

Kira relaxed then, understanding L's drift. Good. He wasn't dull.

"So you're going to help me."

L allowed himself one last long look at the brunette before letting the last remainders of his dream slip away.

"Perhaps," Kira looked like he was prepared to make an offer.

"Firstly though, I must confess to you I do not believe you are after fifteen million dollars. Whatever you want from Yotsuba, it isn't money.

"Money is along the way, Ryuzaki, we can grab it as well."

"I suppose Kira-kun will not tell me what it is that he's really after."

"Nope."

"Alright then," L stretched. "What made Kira-kun believe I will help him?"

Brunette hair moved gently as the pretty brunette leaned lazily into L's chair.

"You're bored out of your mind."

I nodded.

"Fair enough, yet I was going to refuse your offer."

"The sex dream changed your mind?" Kira laughed again.

"Yes," L muttered darkly.

"I will be back with plans. This is highly illegal, do keep it quiet," and the brunette was leaving.

"Hang on, I have conditions."

Kira rolled his eyes and turned his head slightly, and L admired him from behind.

"We do this my way."

"Half-way your way."

"Alright."

"You get half."

"I also get to sleep with you."

"You most certainly do_ not_."

"Then I am afraid there is no deal."

"Take more than half."

"If there is no sex involved, I refuse to take part in it."

"You seem under the impression that you will do everything yourself."

"Will I not?"

"I planned it out, _L, _for a year. I even figured out your name, you know, your name from England? I'm more than capable of doing this myself."

"Why does Kira want my help if he is so confident?"

"I have my reasons."

"Alright. I still want sex."

L did not like the stubborn turn this conversation was taking. He did not like to be kept in the dark, he didn't like his name being known, and yet he was helplessly trapped staring at the brunette's long legs. It was all the fault of the insomnia. He will regret this, he knew it.

"...well," Kira seemed to consider sex. "As a celebration treat, I suppose."

L cheered.

"Anything, anything bad or awful or anything I don't like though, and the deal's off. Try to touch me before that and I will kill you, and then the deal'll be off, too."

Kira was making a false promise. L figured he'd try that.

"Alright. Meanwhile I will get to see Kira-kun in various states of undress."

"You can't be serious!"

"From what I gather, Kira-kun is in desperate need of my help, and I intend to exploit this situation however I see fit."

"I won't sleep with you! Why can't you just ask for money like a normal person!"

"Various. States. Of undress, Kira-kun," L spelled it out, praying the gamble would pay off.

Kira sighed with his back still turned to L. For a brief moment, he looked helpless.

He must really, really need L's help to be this desperate.

"Fine."

L felt bad.

"I won't touch you, if that helps."

Kira snapped.

"Don't make such a big deal out of it; I'll strip for you a few times, whatever. I'll see you soon."

And he was off.

Kira-kun was a proud bird.

L considered what he'd just gotten himself into for a brief moment, and went back to sleep, hoping to catch the same dream again.

The light still did not bounce off Kira correctly.

----

A/N: Studying can go and fuck itself. 12 projected chapters. Wooo.


	2. Timepiece

**The Fields of Hades**

**2: Timepiece**

L was exhausted. He tried everything, counting, pills, exercise, Matt's 'herbs'... all he got was high. The insomnia held its ground while sleep avoided him like a plague. It's been eighty-two hours since he slept last.

L tossed in his bed before his eyes came upon the vandalized wall. He turned away, groaned and punched the mattress.

Kira-chan, you son of a bitch.

It was all because of Kira.

Or rather, it was because of the lack of Kira. Lack of Kira in his bed to lovingly soothe him to sleep, but mostly lack of Kira's existence.

L went through everything he could possibly think of, entire current To-oh student database, the database of the relatives of To-oh students, database of Yotsuba's employees, their families, wanted criminals, anything, everything.

He even went though graduates and dropouts of To-oh in the past ten years.

No beautiful brunette _anywhere_.

Kira never set a foot in To-oh.

Of course Kira could as well be from Tokyo U, or even highschool, and Kira was a lovely, but obviously fake name.

It still wasn't fair. The beautiful brunette knew L's name and god knows what else about him, and all L knew about the brunette was... well, he knew he wanted to do him into the wall, for one.

In the matter of days, Kira became an obsession, something sweet and evil, nesting inside L's head and planting sweet and evil thoughts into L's exhausted mind.

All he could think of was finding him so that the next time sweet Kira danced into his room, L would throw everything he got at him.

Which, at the moment, was absolutely nothing.

Instead of finding who Kira was, L found a hundred and one thing that Kira wasn't.

And it made him angry, livid even, mad enough to punch his walls and make his knuckles bleed. Mad enough to bite his fingernails right up to the meat, mad enough to...

No matter how frustrated L got, in his mind, he was still making gentle love to sweet Kira-chan.

"Dude, you okay in there?" The loud rapping against his door made L groan again.

"No Matt-kun, go away."

Instead of Matt going away, L heard his door slam open and the alarm screeched. Then he heard startled noises in form of tripping and bashing one's head against a table.

"Jesus! Would you turn that thing the fuck off?!"

Matt had split his forehead, again.

No matter how many times L told Matt not to invite himself in, Matt never listened.

No matter how many times Matt told L to 'move that fucking table', L never listened either.

After appointing Mello to resolve the situation, Mello suggested Matt knocks before entering and L invests into a large box of bandaids.

So that was their solution that didn't really solve anything.

Matt nursed his injured head.

"Dude, you have issues."

"Whatever would those be, Matt-kun?"

"Stop fucking knocking at my wall!"

Oh.

L casually propped up his pillow to hide his bruised knuckles under it.

"I have never knocked against Matt's wall."

"Riiight," Matt slumped down into L's chair. No, _Kira's_ chair. L glared, Matt never noticed.

"So... how's she doing?"

L followed the direction of Matt's finger to meet his vandalized wall once again.

He groaned and turned his back to the wall and Matt.

"That bad, huh."

Please. 'Bad' didn't even begin to describe it.

"You still can't sleep."

"No."

"Hey, you can try some more of my weed-"

L nearly gagged, "no Matt-kun, no more of that. Ever."

Matt chucked and L heard his papers being absently sorted though.

"Hormones suck."

"Yes, very."

"So what happen?"

L said nothing.

"Fine, who's the other guy?"

"There is no guy, Matt-kun."

Matt alluded to the wall.

"Oh never mind that," L huffed.

Matt fiddled with his papers some more and made no indication that he had any plans of going away whatsoever. He even eyed his PSP suspiciously enough for L to understand he would pull it out and play it all night if it came down to it.

"Fine, she is 5"8, brunette, brown eyes, creamy skin, the whole package." Then L sat up and shoo'd Matt.

"Cup size?"

"Double-D, now please excuse yourself, Matt-kun."

"Well that's a lie."

"It isn't, now isn't there something Matt-kun needs to do, perhaps?"

"You're not into huge boobs, man."

"Alright, fine. B-Cup. Now-"

"She's a dude!"

L rubbed his temples.

"Nice!"

"Matt-kun will not attempt to give me sex advice derived from his experiences with Mello!"

"Well you're boring," Matt pouted.

"Is Matt-kun done fishing?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine..."

"Actually, hang on."

"Great Ryuzaki wants me to stay? Sorry, I'm taken," L was sure Matt just winked at him, though he couldn't see under the red-head's messy bands and alien goggles.

"You have hacked Yotsuba database, have you-"

"Shhh!"

Matt ran around in circle for a little while, terrified.

"Dude, you crazy? _They're everywhere, they're listening!_"

L sighed.

"Matt-kun, of course they are listening. That is why there are scrambling devices all over this room."

Matt calmed down and hesitantly lowered himself back into Kira's chair, looking over L's walls critically.

"So, has Matt-kun hacked Yotsuba's main server?"

"Yeah," Matt whispered. "I was bored."

"I was also bored, and I have also hacked Yotsuba's main server."

"So?"

"Has Matt-kun noticed anything suspicious at all?"

"Other than all the money laundering records? Nothing."

"I have noticed a few Garbage files and I was chased right out."

"Same here."

"Matt-kun has theories as to what may be in those Garbage files?"

"Uh... porn?"

Matt was a brilliant IT, but that was where it ended.

Matt also knew how to get laid.

"...how do I make him spend the night?"

"He wants something from you?"

"Yes."

"Do it, and _stall_."

So when along with the 4AM dawn an illusive brunette marched into L's room carrying various equipment, L took his time to notice him, recognize the equipment and issue a salutation.

"This," Kira dumped computer parts, diagrams and discs to L's floor, "is out ticket to fifteen million."

L eyed the equipment critically. If Kira-chan couldn't put together a computer, than...

"... and this is how we're going to get it."

A notebook slapped L in the face because he wasn't paying attention to the pile of things on his floor, but rather staring and Kira's thighs. L rubbed his sore face and flipped through the pages.

_Never mind. _

The writing on L's wall matched the writing in the notebook perfectly, and the notebook told L miles about Kira's mind.

Kira-chan was brilliant. L mentally added another 10 to the total of hours he would have to get through before he could fall asleep, the 10 hours dedicated to fantasizing various kinds of genius activities he could do with Kira.

"What are you doing?"

L flipped a page very slowly, as per Matt's advice.

"You had that for ten minutes now, and you only got though two pages."

"I need to check the validity of this very carefully," L lied.

Kira yanked the book out of his hand, so L reached back for it (and the brunette) in slow motion.

Kira just walked away and parked his pretty behind into the office chair.

"Fine," L hugged his knees and sulked.

"So?" the brunette ignored him.

"... If those are your plans, than I do not understand why Kira-kun needs me at all."

"Part two."

"Part two Kira-kun wouldn't allow me to read?"

"You were stalling, and you know it. So get to it?"

L glared at Kira, displeased.

"You want me to put together a _computer_?"

"Yes. I brought plans and equipment. It's your turn."

"Kira-kun is serious." L stared in wonder some more.

"_Most _of the equipment, anyway. You're gonna have to buy some stuff. No more than a few hundred dollars, don't worry."

"And why won't Kira-kun do that himself?"

Kira glared, but L was known for his ability to sleep with his eyes open, so the staring contest wasn't really a contest at all, rather an observation as to how long it would take Kira-chan's pretty caramel eyes to start watering.

Not long, but before L could celebrate, Kira-chan switched tactics and started shyly fiddling with the buttons of his shirt.

L ogled the brunette, forgetting what the contest was all about in the first place.

"Well..." Kira said bashfully, faint blush spreading across his cheeks and his soft fingers snapping open the top button, "it _is_ awfully hot in here..."

That was a lie, because L kept his thermostat off at all times and it was freezing. It was a ploy, because Kira-chan by all standards resented L's advances. It was necessary to do whatever Kira-chan asked. Yes. L mentally drooled.

"It is much cooler over here," L patted the sad and empty spot in the bed next to him.

"Really?"

Another button was undone, and the gentle curve of the collarbone perked just enough for L to imagine the wildest of things.

This was absolutely not a dream, for the sake of L's sanity this had to be real.

The pink skin was just as he'd imagined it, smooth and pretty and...

Kira undid his tie and it hung loosely from his slight shoulders. L swallowed hard.

"I could, but you're over there..."

"I will not take up much space, I promise!"

Kira groaned and closed a button, and L cried in outrage.

"Tell you what. I'll make you a deal. You get your ass over there and put the computer together, and I'll take off my shirt."

L hopped off the bed to the floor and sat next to the scattered computer bits. Kira eyed him suspiciously, but L just made himself comfortable for the show and leaned back against the wall.

"This," Kira swirled his finger in an imaginary circle around L's bed, "is where I am going to be. You do not come near here. You don't touch the bed. You don't touch me. You come anywhere near here, I will kill you." L understood the severity of the threat and ignored it.

Kira tried another threat:

"You come anywhere hear here, I will put my shirt back on."

L made a face, but agreed to the unfair terms anyway. Anything to make sweet Kira... well.

The gorgeous brunette gravitated towards the bed and gracefully set down, carefully, not to disturb L's sheets or make any unnecessary movements. Like a lady. L watched in amusement as the buttons flew open revealing the sweet curve of Kira's collarbone once again, followed by toned, lightly muscular chest and firm belly. With each revealed inch of the creamy skin the adorable blush on Kira's smooth cheeks became more apparent and realistic, and once he slowly shrugged off the shoulders of his jacket and lay it on L's nightstand, nothing restricted the rims of the shirt to open and reveal the entire naked, beautiful chest.

Sweet pie, L wanted to _touch_. What was up with Kira-chan and touching anyway? Don't touch this, don't do that...

L must have been ogling him again, because brunette's pretty nipples suddenly perked; not that L minded the gentle roundness they had before, but Kira-chan's slightly erect nipples suggested something very favorable to L.

Kira-chan was the shy type.

L drew in a long breath and _purred_.

Kira sucked in air sharply, swallowed loudly and even jumped up a little and the perky nubs became pink.

L giggled and leaned back.

The brunette tired his best to ignore him. The deal was that he removes his shirt, and he must have known L wouldn't let him off without taking advantage of the situation. He shrugged the shirt off and L imagined his own hands gliding down the lightly muscled forearms of the brunette the way that shirt just did.

Kira was stunning.

"Wow," he finally said, and it took him a few seconds to realize his voice was low and still purring.

Kira huffed, the pink blush and perky nipples still ever-present, and gracefully lowered himself onto L's scattered pillows.

"Get to it?" he tired to brush it off proudly.

L licked his lips and busied himself with assessing the equipment while he schemed how to get more out of this than Kira agreed to.

The computer things were surprisingly new, in fact L managed to trace the updates Kira made.

Kira-chan took care of his equipment... hmm. The cycle of updated things seemed to end at an AMD Turion processor which had come out around two years ago.

This was odd.

"Kira-kun is aware Intel had come out with Dual Core, yes?"

"AMD works just fine."

"I still would prefer Dual Core."

"Fine. Buy one, then."

L made a note of that. Basically his job was to put together a supercomputer, which he'd done to his own Mac already. Surely Kira-chan would know that?

"I have sufficient equipment for-"

"Listen, you. I don't want your Mac. I want a _computer_ put together with _that_. Put whatever you want on it, plaster it with Hello Kitty stickers, put some Krypton in it for fuck's sake. PC, Ryuzaki. PC."

Kira's Mac-hatred was unreasonable.

"I would suggest a newer keyboard-"

"No! My keyboard, my monitor, my mouse, my CDs."

The rest of the things were sufficient.

"We will need a server."

L made a note to buy a new server tower. It was still unsettling though, Kira-chan seemed to have not upgraded anything for two years.

"We will also need a cross-shaped screw-driver bit. It is missing from your screwdriver, Kira-kun."

"You have one, don't you?"

Kira-chan strolled in with a missing cross-shaped screwdriver bit. L had taken him as being more of a punctual person than that.

"I will assume you will not help me with this."

As a response, Kira stretched (and L licked his lips), and settled comfortably in L's bed. Figures.

"I refuse to lend the use of my cross-shaped screwdriver bit."

The brunette chocked on air and looked at L funny, but L kept a straight face.

"...and as Kira-kun may know, this project has no chance of ever being completed without a cross-shaped screwdriver bit."

"...okay, what do you want?"

L knew he could not request further removal of Kira's clothing because that wasn't the deal. He also could not request permission to touch the creamy skin because Kira-chan specifically told him not to touch.

"I understand I may not touch Kira-kun. As payment for the cross-shaped screwdriver bit, I want Kira-kun to touch himself."

He was pushing it. Kira could just walk out and come back an hour later with another cross-shaped screwdriver bit.

By now, Kira-chan's blush subsided and the pretty nipples returned to their round and soft state. The beautiful face took on an outraged expression; those full lips pressed together in a thin line and eyes narrowed in an angry glare.

"The deal was I take my shirt off."

"Upper body," though L already imagined making the brunette take off his pants, spread his legs and touch himself in front of L. Upper body was fine_ for now_.

Kira actually considered this for a moment, and before L listed a few thousand bad consequences of his obscene request, Kira-chan sat up, crawled to the edge of L's bed, crossed his legs and bravely put his long, creamy fingers against his collarbone.

Oh my.

L licked his dry lips.

The thick, red blush spread from the pink cheeks down the long neck and Kira soldered though tracing his fingers down his chest.

L gripped onto the foot of the desk to avoid bolting and jumping the brunette.

Fingers drifted lower and circled the dimple in the firm belly and down they went until they hit the belt and stopped. He must have been at loss of what to do.

"Touch your nipples, Kira-kun," L commanded.

Kira slightly shuddered and bent to look down at the perky nubs in question. He was so innocent, so shy, so...

Cautiously, he brought his hand onto his chest and traced a tiny circle around his left nipple.

L grabbed Kira's swirly chair and brought closer, keeping their agreement to stay off the bed. His face inched curiously until Kira-chan was at an arm's reach.

"I will not touch, I promised," he said, resting his face on his knees. Kira drew a few more circles around the quickly hardening nub until the tips of his finders gently closed around the tip and a quiet sound left his throat.

Shy little thing.

He released and L found the pink nipple red and erect. He swallowed, and watched a sly tongue dart and wet the tips of those lucky fingers before they descended upon the nub and squeezed it hard and played with it for a few more minutes, and while they were at it, Kira-chan's other brave hand played with his other nipple, and Kira, still blushing, kept his head down though it all.

When it was done and Kira left his chest alone, the two perfect tips were as red as they ever would get and the drying saliva accented their perfection by glistening in L's desk light.

"Enough?" Kira-chan sounded passive, though his voice was shaking slightly.

L looked down at Kira-chan's crotch. Slight erection.

Pretty.

He also had one, so perhaps...

"Get _the fuck_ to it now."

Right.

L slowly crawled out of the chair and went back to the rather boring task of assembling a hacking computer.

He was told he had no sense of time, and when he had done everything he could without the necessary parts (stealing glimpses at the half-necked brunette in his bed), it was nine in the morning and he'd realized he missed his morning lecture.

To hell with that.

In the past two hours, Kira-chan looked like he was wandering the bridge between sleep and awake; those long, black lashes drifted closed and the sleepy eyes L saw a few moments later looked dim and half-aware of their surroundings.

L had no motives behind it; he just wanted to see the gorgeous thing to fall asleep so he could see the angelic-like features relaxed.

Quietly, he tiptoed to the bed when he was sure Kira would not wake up anymore. The brunette's breathing was still stiff, but gradually it calmed and Kira's facial features relaxed. His breaths became shallow and rapid.

Kira was finally asleep.

L grabbed at the empty sheets but it was too late. As he was standing over the sleeping brunette, Kira-chan's body became transparent and melted away in the matter of seconds.


	3. Phenomena

**The Fields of Hades**

**3: Phenomena **

"Matt-kun, what do you see?"

"A bed."

"Do you see a person on that bed?"

"No."

L dragged Matt to one of his surveillance monitors and hit play.

"Now what do you see?"

"A bed."

"No person?"

"Nope."

L fast-forwarded to where Kira sat gracefully on the bed and started to unbutton his shirt.

"Now?"

"A bed."

"And?

"Still no person."

L grabbed a cigarette from Matt's mouth and thrust a coffee cup into his hand and made him empty it in ten seconds.

"Clean your eyes, Matt-kun."

"What?"

"Clean your eyes."

Grudgingly, Matt peeled off his goggles and rubbed his bloodshot eyes with his dirty sleeve.

"Do you see a person yet?" L jammed a finger into the face of the monitor where a tiny Kira sat on L's bed.

"No."

L sighed heavily and collapsed into the chair. Matt helped himself to L's licorice, but L was too busy assessing his own mental condition to care.

His persistent insomnia must have finally wrestled sanity away from L's mind and made him hallucinate. Apparently, L was sexually frustrated as well, but that came at no surprise.

Hallucinations.

Treatable.

The pile of half-assembled computer and computer bits suggested something else entirely.

"Can Matt-kun at least see _that_?" L motioned to the pile briskly and hid his face in his hands, afraid of Matt's answer.

"The pile of crap? Yup, it's there. Is that an AMD? You know they came out with Dual Core, right?"

"That's what I told him," L whined.

"Kira? He came by?"

"I don't know, I have gone mad."

"Well that's not news," Matt whistled.

"Alright, I will have Matt-kun take a look at one more thing."

L pulled up the tape where Kira brought the computer bits.

"What does Matt-ku-"

"Holy lingbit! Ryu, did you see that? Oh my fucking god computers flllyyyy!!"

L chocked on air and stared at Matt.

"Come again?" he said, his voice cracking.

"Tech shit! This stuff!" and Matt pointed to the monitor, "there! Flyyyinggg! Holy shit!"

L watched a tiny Kira carry in the rubble on his monitor while Matt fall to his knees before the sacred computer parts.

Matt did not see Kira.

"Enough of this madness, Matt-kun, go get Mello-kun!"

Mello confirmed the absence of Kira and the presence of the saintly computer. Matt rattled away about the God of Computers finally gracing men with His Holy presence and Mello listened to him carefully and smacked him at the back of the head for doing crack at the end of it.

L decided not to show Mello the tape of the levitating computer bits.

After politely throwing his guests out, L walked towards the middle of his room and took a deep breath.

Sweet Kira-chan could not be seen my Matt or Mello.

Sweet Kira-chan did not reflect light properly.

Sweet Kira-chan, by all standards, should not exist.

Yet L had proof of Kira-chan's existence, on tape.

Yet L saw Kira-chan.

Kira-chan was an entity, not a person.

Kira-chan, by all standards, was a ghost.

L fainted.

---

It was thin, it was sharp, it stabbed him in the face.

L wrinkled his nose and rolled over, and then the dull end of the marker jabbed him into his ribs and he became vaguely aware that someone with a pleasant voice was yelling at him.

"You aren't real. Go away now."

"What?"

"Leave, Kira-kun."

When Kira proceeded to scream at L some more and some more painful pokes followed, L became aware of the throbbing pain in his head, and upon an attempt to check out what the hell happened, he realized something glued his eye shut and he could not open it.

Despite everything, he refused to admit he was under a paranormal attack of any kind.

The back of his skull throbbed as he slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position on the floor. The eye that didn't have the eyelashes stuck together opened and the whole room spun and Kira was still screaming something.

L touched his closed eyelid and found that dried blood was keeping it from opening and as he worked his way further into his hair, he found the source of the bleeding originated from a gash near his ear. The carpet was stained with a bit of blood which was concentrated right next to the foot of Kira's swirly chair where the most of the blood and some hair made mess in the dark.

Kira jabbed him in the ribs again and said something, and L asked him to stop yelling.

Kira sat with his knees folded under him, and in the dark he looked much more like a gorgeous apparition. The angelic face looked concerned when he said something again, and L replied, and then he realized his words made no sense at all.

It took enormous effort to peel himself from the floor, but L managed, and without any help from his concerned 'friend', he made it to the bathroom and threw icy water at his face.

It made him at least understand what Kira was saying.

"…an you un-der-stand what I'm say-ing?"

"Yes, I think so," muttered L and apparently that came out much clearer than any other of his attempts to speak so far because Kira nodded.

L cleaned some of the blood with a towel until he could open his eye and deemed the rest shower-worthy, thus he didn't bother with it and dragged himself to the bed.

"Ouch..." he moaned finally when Kira took a seat at the edge of his bed.

"I thought you went into a comma!" fussed the pretty brunette.

"Thanks for your help," L muttered grudgingly and Kira fussed some more.

"If you plan on not sleeping until you faint, can you at least make your room safe for when you're gonna collapse?! You could've bashed your head against something harder and then died and-"

"And then Kira-kun wouldn't get his 15 million dollars?"

"Exactly!"

"Now, see Kira-kun, about that-"

But then L remembered the 6th Sense and felt sympathy for Kira. Maybe Kira didn't know he was dead. Maybe L shouldn't say anything about it.

But then L remembered the Matrix and realized that perhaps it wasn't Kira who wasn't real, but Mello and Matt were agent Smith trying to divert him from seeing the truth.

And then he remembered Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses and decided not to make anymore movie references.

"...your name isn't Edward by chance, is it, Kira-kun?"

"What?"

"Never mind," L shuddered. "Kira-kun did wake me up, with a _pen_. It had hurt. How can I trust Kira-kun when he so bluntly refuses to leave any kind of evidence? I am beginning to regret I was solicited by Kira-kun at all."

"You can't blame me for covering my ass."

"Yes I can, Kira-kun's behind shouldn't be covered at all."

Kira hissed angrily.

L examined the wet towel he used as a compress: it was bloody. He crumpled it up and reused it anyway.

"That's disgusting."

"Well, go get me another one."

"No."

What the hell up was with Kira and touching things?

"Germs," the brunette mouthed at answer before L could even ask. His lips moved slowly and his face drew closer and L realized he was being manipulated out of changing his mind about the whole scheme yet again.

"Some more manipulation, Kira-kun, please."

"How can you be horny after almost killing yourself?"

L shrugged and Kira shuddered, but obediently opened his brown uniform jacket and unbuttoned his shirt anyway.

"Kira-kun, I have a problem," L confessed after savoring the pretty chest for a few minutes. His throbbing headache seemed to lessen as a pleasant side effect.

The pretty thing rolled his eyes.

"Don't we all."

"You see, my acquaintances seem to have a disability when it comes to seeing Kira-kun. What does Kira-kun make of this?"

L squinted to better see Kira's reaction. For a split second, the beautiful, flawless face was void of all emotion, then it became angry, then confused, and it seemed to bounce between anger and confusion. If it was any other person, L would have deemed the reaction real, but because this was Kira, it made him wonder.

"Say what?" Kira said, sounding genuinely confused and outraged.

"That was too long of a sentence for me to repeat in my current condition."

"That was just as long!"

But L stared at Kira, demanding an answer.

"Okay. So your friends say they can't see me?"

"Yes."

"So I'm invisible?"

"Yes."

Kira considered this for a second, and then his lips twitched upwards in fake happy surprise.

"Awesome!"

"Really," L said, not amused.

"Yeah! Never mind your help! I can just walk in there and take the 15 million, you know what, I'm just gonna go and do that now. Bye!"

"Seriously?"

"No."

"Fine," it wasn't like L thought his inquiry would reap results anyway.

Kira curiously watched him.

"Is it really bothering you?"

"I would imagine an invisible person would bother anybody."

"Yeah probably," Kira laughed and L heard bells again. Everything about Kira was just too perfect to be true, but maybe L just hit the jackpot, he wasn't sure.

L wanted to curl up in misery but the sudden neck movement made his head throb again and he whined.

"Tell you what," said Kira after much consideration, "I think your friends are pulling your leg."

L considered it. Matt probably told Mello about Kira-chan, and chances of Mello being a jerk were... pretty damn high.

"I suppose that makes much more sense than an invisible person," L agreed finally.

"There you go," the brunette smiled charmingly and L reached for him only to get his hand stabbed with a marker.

"I have also seen Kira-kun melt away last time I had seen him."

"Melt."

"Yes."

"Like ice-cream?"

"Like smoke."

"That would be a useful skill."

"Indeed."

"So L," Kira lowered his eyelids and toyed with the edge of the pen between his full lips like a slutty professor, "how does that make you _feel_?"

"It makes me feel uncertain," L played along.

"And why," those round, red lips closed around the tip of the pen and made a sound when they let go, pink tongue darting out to give it a tiny lick before it left his mouth, "do you think you've seen me melt like ice-cream smoke?"

"Because Kira-kun makes me sexually frustrated and I want to eat him."

"And…?"

"And I haven't slept for four days."

Kira clapped his hands, looking overjoyed.

"Splendid!" he cheered, "now, how do you think you can fix this?"

"By sleeping," and when Kira nodded in agreement, L added, "with you."

"Nope, just sleeping will do."

"With you?"

"Nope."'

"When do I get to sleep with Kira-kun?"

"At the rate you're going? Never."

"How do I romance Kira-kun?"

"By getting him into Yotsuba's servers."

"What about poetry?"

"Try money."

"Kira-kun is expensive," L frowned.

But the jokes were quickly wearing off and Kira looked all too aware of what L was about to drop on him, he wasn't dumb.

"You aren't going to help me, are you," he deadpanned.

"I am sorry, I simply do not trust Kira-kun enough."

For the sake of being perfectly honest with himself, L had never really planned to go ahead with the whole plan as it was. There was virtually nothing he knew about the plan or his partner, there was nothing he wanted out of it and there was simply too much weirdness surrounding Kira.

What L did was low and he knew it. He pretty much exploited the pretty thing, and by all means he wasn't done with sweet Kira yet, but he had to let him go because the risks were increasing at a much faster rate than he expected.

Kira looked sad, but sadness turned into fury quickly.

And the odd thing was that Kira was completely aware that L had no intention of getting very deep into his little scheme, Kira was aware that L was just humoring him. And yet he tried. He was desperate... L, of course, exploited his desperation.

It wasn't that L didn't have any morals. L had morals. They were just very low.

As expected, Kira got angry.

He screamed and L was surprised the angry brunette had enough self-control not to hit L; he was practically boiling and... did L's books just fly?

What happened was very much like an earthquake. Books and papers stacked haphazardly spilled from the shelves against all laws of gravity and small objects scattered in random directions, some were poorly aimed at L, and lightbulbs burst and delicate glass things shattered. The window screeched dangerously.

It was like a windstorm sans the wind, it was chaos, and in the midst of the spurring mini-hurricane in L's dorm room stood Kira, still screaming, seemingly unaware of what was happening.

L half-sat on his bed, bloody towel and injuries forgotten, gawking at the event. Kira-chan was a ghost.

"I AM NOT DEAD!" Kira screamed and L realized he voiced his observation without realizing it.

Larger objects started gaining better aim, and a paperknife nicked L in the shoulder.

"Kira-kun, stop this!" L screamed and finally, Kira turned and realized what he was doing. Heavy things in flight got plucked from the air and fell, gravity overcoming them, but papers and pencils and candy wrappers still swirled. Kira stared, his rosy lips parted in shock, and L used the moment and grabbed him by the hand.

Static shot though his spine and fingers and only numb tingling in L's limbs remained as residue of Kira. It was like the brunette was never there.

It started to rain paperwaste.

Fear washed over L in an odd cold sensation, and L's lips twitched upward in fascination. Kira will be back, he knew that, and this was just _cool_.


	4. Vice

**The Fields of Hades**

**4: Vice**

Yagami Tsuki, pronounced Yagami Light.

Pisces.

Accepted to To-Oh University of Law two years and eight months ago.

Missing for two years and six months.

Age to date: 19.

_Click for more information about this missing person._

Taken by family to To-Oh University of Law initiation ceremony to give a freshman initiation speech. Never made it to the ceremony. Last seen in the south parking lot of To-Oh University of Law by family. Last sighting has been documented.

_Click to download image. _

Kira... no, Yagami Light posed gleefully for the camera with what appeared to be his sister and mother, with a crowd of cars and people in the background.

He looked... exactly the way he looked when he visited L; perfectly pressed shirt, red tie, pocket red marker he was going to use to sign class books, To-Oh uniform and flawless skin hidden underneath it.

L sighed.

Kira was right under his nose this whole time.

_Click here if you have any information on the missing person. _

L snorted at the irony and googled Yagami Light instead of clicking.

Grieving family, return our son, father, the NPA chief... Yagami Light, junior tennis champion. _Interesting. _

If only Kira could touch a tennis racket, L would love to play him. Of course, it would have to be in an abandoned warehouse in the middle of the night, because serving a ball to a wall and have it bounce back without reaching the said wall would definitely draw attention.

If Kira..._Light_ could hold a tennis racket. L had a suspicion he could not.

As L hacked the Yagami family tax records, he wondered how it slipped his mind.

Yagami Light had to give the entrance speech with L almost three years ago, but the boy just didn't show up. Students were handed 'missing person' flyers some months later, but L recycled it as a cookie tray knowing his vast social contracts wouldn't be of much help anyway.

He should have bothered looking into the disappearance; it would have saved him a few days of going insane.

Light didn't show up in To-Oh students' database because he simply never set a foot in To-Oh. He was accepted, but never attended.

He went missing with his uniform.

L kind of wished Light went missing without the uniform, but that was beside the point.

The family of Yagami Light had a very interesting tax history.

There was a peculiar purchase of a computer, most likely as an acceptance into To-Oh gift from Light's father.

L copied the item code and compared it against the store items.

Two months before his disappearance, Light got am AMD PC, best-thing-ever at the time.

It confirmed L's suspicions.

"I can only touch things I touched when I still had a body," came a miserable deadpan behind his back, and L looked up from his position on the floor to catch a glimpse of one To-Oh clad Light falling face-first into his bed.

"Light-kun," L tried out loud, and the name had a pleasant ring to it when it bounced off L's tongue. He decided he liked it.

"_Kira_, please," the creature sprawled across L's bad whined, annoyed.

"Why?"

"...Light makes it sound like I still have a chance to ever be Light Yagami ever again."

L didn't know what to say, and he wasn't usually one for sentiments, so he just said what he wanted to.

"So how did you di-"

"I didn't die, you idiot!"

L sized Light's shoe because it was the only thing he could really see. It looked like Man's 9.

"Ah. Of course."

Light groaned.

"Come on. You look like you're a smart person, I've been watc-... fine, I've been _invading your privacy _for a few months now. You're too smart to believe in ghosts or shit like that."

L gave the shoe a meaningful glare. The shoe twitched as if it sensed L's pointed stare on it.

"I'm not a ghost, I'm not dead. If there were ghosts, there'd be others. I'm the only. Fucking. One."

"Light-kun must be lonely. I suggest he hurries up and goes to heaven."

"Fuck you."

L got up and curled his own bed, and Light lifted his messy head from L's pillow to watch him with narrowed caramel eyes. L ignored it and crouched at the foot of the bed, rested his chin on his hands and tilted his head to admire the beautiful creature.

Yagami Light was truly stunning.

"You are very beautiful."

"And you're very retarded."

"What does Yotsuba have that you want?"

Light's eyes narrowed further as the boy rolled to his side and curled up, looking away.

"Light-kun," L insisted.

"...A book."

"A book?"

"A Death Note."

"What is a Death Note?"

Light snorted.

"I have no fucking clue."

"So why would you want it?"

Light looked L in the eye than with a blank stare completely void of any implications or emotions. He looked... so sad, so... distrusting. L wanted to get that book for Light, not out of the goodness of his heart, but because this was entertaining, and because it could wipe that blank look from those gorgeous caramel eyes.

L nodded, thinking Light was silently debating if he could trust L or not.

In response, the boy shifted back far enough for L to have enough space to curl up next to him in his own bed.

L did, folding his arms under his face and mirroring Light's position almost perfectly.

"I don't know what it does," Light droned finally, his voice coming from the back of his nasal cavity, too relaxed to bother using the proper means of voice exertion. It sounded like Light was purring. "But I know it has a shinigami attached to it."

They lay there.

_A shinigami? A death god?_

"And what does a shinigami do?" L asked, not sounding suddenly concerned for his own safety, although he very much was.

Light didn't notice.

"They fucking... they fucking make you like a ghost," he hissed and hid his face in the pillow again, obviously not wanting L to see the beautiful face twist into a shinigami-homicidal expression of rage.

L's concern for his own safety grew exponentially, considering he was about to suddenly become involved with one of these shinigami.

So that's what happened to Light.

_Ouch. _

"It... _She,_ it said _it_ was a _she_, it said that I was about to do something terrible, so it wrote something in that book of it- hers, and bang! Call the ghost busters."

"Just like that?

"Just like that."

"Was there an actual 'bang'?"

"No."

"Puff of smoke?"

"No!"

"I see."

"Yeah."

"What was Light-kun about to do, so terrible to deserve this?"

"I have no fucking idea!" Light smacked the pillow and turned away so that L was now facing his fuming back.

L was certain that he wasn't about to do anything horrible, so he wouldn't be ghostified. To help Light was perfectly justifiable now.

The boy wanted the notebook that Yotsuba had to see that shinigami again and basically ask it to change him back. L had a feeling it wouldn't fly, but... whatever made Light-kun naked.

"So the sex dreams-?"

"Real."

"God, what would I give to make Light-kun moan like that," L whistled.

"Help me get my body back so that you can actually touch me, and I'm yours to fuck for a week. I'm serious. Whatever you want. Just..."

L said nothing, dead-set of having Light shed some feathers and _ask_. It took a minute.

"...just... help me. Please."

L realized he would stand next to Light though the whole thing.

And then hopefully fuck him very hard.

He agreed.

And then he realized something else.

"You had most of the computer parts you needed, why did Light-kun not assemble them himself and then just brought it to be to finish? You could touch most of the things perfectly."

"I was missing a cross-shaped screwdriver bit."

L hadn't laughed in a very long time, and there he was, clutching his belly in wild laughter with a gorgeous, shocked ghost-not-really watching him with mild amusement.

---

Throughout his short acquaintance with Kira as Yagami Light, L noticed one thing.

The boy spent two-thirds of the day sleeping in L's bad; this had something to do with making himself physical enough for L to see, but it did not change the fact that whenever L left Light alone for more than two seconds, the brunette passed out and slept though the next few hours as if hibernation was perfectly natural for humans.

L didn't mind that his work progress has been slowed down dramatically; first he had to relocate the pile of computer bits to the foot of the bed so that he could see the brunette rather than his foot, then he had to dump a few things on the bed so he could pretend to work better if Light suddenly woke up.

He felt nostalgic toward the ethereal creature, he did.

He didn't ask, but Light must have been alone for a very long time, and judging from how long he had to sleep to store up enough energy just to argue with L about one thing or another, Light was an invisible puff of icecream smoke for at least a year.

Poor thing.

L grabbed Light's red marker and jammed in into his ribs rather hard as his own form of completely uncalled-for revenge for yesterday.

"Oww, fuck off," Light waved him off, turned away from L and curled into himself.

Apparently, the objects he held last before him encountering a shinigami were easier for him to hold than the ones he didn't touch. He dropped the pen when he saw the death god, so he could pick it up easiest, and L could touch it for the same reasons.

But Light vanished with his clothes, so Light and his clothes were off-limits.

Computer was apparently hard to hold.

...

Light was _so_ lying.

L huffed.

The brunette just didn't want to do any work.

L was also having doubts about the whole Yotsuba hack. He supposed they would get in, and what would they look for, among the billions of auto-saves and workstation porn downloads?

L imagined searching for 'notebook of death', and the imaginary Matt standing behind him collapsed in laughter, choking on his cigarette.

There was another unsettling thing about the whole affair. Yotsuba laundred money particularly well when conveniently favorable deaths of competitive companies' executives and chiefs happened very naturally.

And although Yotsuba could not be blamed for heart attacks or being shot by jealous lovers at age of 88, a shinigami would explain the story in a different light.

But these were technicalities.

L was bored, and at some point he jumped off a very short building because he was bored. This wasn't exactly peanuts, but it was definitely more exciting than jumping off a very short building.

And his prize was well-worth it, anyway.

L just really hoped when this was all over, Light wouldn't keep his sleeping habits because that would prove to be troublesome when L would be trying to have the promised sex with the teen.

And then he saw it.

_It. _

It was very tall; the ends of its thick, dirty black hair brushed against L's ceiling. Its skin was rotting and cut everywhere, and the slices were barely held together by large metal staples. It had a broken mop of feathers around its neck and its thin, bony legs levitated just above L's floor.

It looked like a very good Halloween mascot.

L tilted his head and stared at the thing, and the thing stared back at him in equal, wide-eyed amusement.

"Light-kun needs to wake up for this..." L deadpanned, but Light ignored him again, and the thing pressed its bony rubber-like clawed finger to its huge purple lips and shhh'd him, intelligently pointing to the door silently declaring it wanted to have a word with L in private.


	5. Pillage

**The Fields of Hades**

**5: Pillage**

Through hazy eyes, Light watched L's retrieving back when the man had to open the door and close it softly behind himself while the shinigami melted right through it.

He wanted to follow them; he knew that whatever was being said behind that door was probably important enough for him actually get his ass off the bed and listen to, at least listen in _on_, but as far as movements went, he was exhausted.

The only other time he'd attempted active involvement in the world around him to this degree was when he gave Misa Amane too much credit.

That only proved three things: Misa Amane was as dumb as she looked, Misa Amane was as insane as she looked (and after the incident she had documents to prove it) and Light couldn't keep his appearance for very long... and that kind of resulted in number two, but that wasn't his problem.

This was awful.

A shinigami.

Here.

He couldn't believe his luck, and yet he couldn't believe how much energy he actually needed to get up and talk to it.

L didn't know _shit_, what could he possibly ask _it_ that would help Light in any way? That's right, Light told him some things, he almost forgot...

_No, no, no! Stay! _he ordered his consciousness, but the awareness of the things around him was slowly slipping though his fingers as he clawed at it... he realized his fingertips dug slightly against L's mattress and he could actually feel its texture.

_Move. _

He wouldn't.

It was pathetic, scary every time it happened even after so many countless, horrifying times, it was still scary and Light tried everything he could to grasp his own cautiousness and hold onto it...

If he kept this up, soon he would disappear, melt, become one with air and drift away against his will to move the opposite direction.

He would pass by people, sometimes familiar people he would scream for, but his screams would be nothing to their deaf ears.

He would catch snippets of conversations he'd never hear the end of.

He would just... exist, and it was _hell_, to just wonder the world like that.

It was tiring... every sound that broke out of his mouth took effort of screaming for hours, every thing he touched or picked up hurt his hands and... shinigami...

He felt his lips part slightly and he thought he should at least try to call for L... 'Ryuzaki' was too long to pronounce, so he mouthed "L" instead, but it wasn't even nearly above a whisper.

He saw his fingertips begin to melt.

This was his limit, he could do no more.

Try again and disappear for a few hours of _hell_, or sleep.

As far as shinigami's importance...

Went, Light still...

Hated...

Hell.

* * *

Feeling sort of dazed by an overwhelming staring at a very dead thing for an hour, L gingerly tiptoed around where the gorgeous brunette laid passed out on his side of the bed.

Cute.

The boy rested on his back, his chest rising and falling, brown locks sprayed the sheets in all directions, long lashes twitched slightly and rosy lips were parted. Light's perfect, long fingers resting near his sleeping face were relaxed as if they were clinging to the mattress for dear life and now went limp from exhaustion.

Light looked so, so... he _didn't_ look like he was going to be waking up anytime soon...

And L was L, and for the most part, L was unaffected by having a near-death experience with a very supernatural thing only moments ago... and Light was sleeping, and L really didn't have much to do until the brunette woke up... _huh._

L was L.

Carefully, he pinched the tip of the red marker sticking out of Light's pocket between his two fingers and pulled it out cautious of not to touch anything but the marker.

Light's fragile form couldn't handle the contact with L's skin, that marker however proved to be useful on many occasions...

L was L.

Light was unconscious.

Briefly L looked up to the ceiling to make sure he had no moral dilemma...

_Nope, nothing. _

Flipping the marker and holding it by the lid, L experimentally poked Light's creamy cheek with the rounded end. No melting.

L grinned and trailed the pen down the soft skin towards the parted lips and traced around the bottom one, imagining the texture of it at he applied pressure and the rosy flesh suddenly pressed together, irritated.

Heat colored L's own face as he imagined _other_ places where he could put that pen to good use where he himself couldn't touch.

Light's face just twitched in unconscious irritation and L was more than happy to remove it.

_Clothes are off-limits, huh..._

Light's explanation about his clothes was so faulty L couldn't help himself but stretch out his pinky and gently poke Light's sleeve, then grasp the limp hand around the wrist where clothes still surrounded the skin.

This was good. L straddled the sleeping beauty without any further testing and pressed his open palms against clothed chest; the body under him twitched as L let his thumb brush over a relaxed nipple. Though he couldn't really touch it... he pinched the fabric along with the flesh under it, and after a few agitated movements from the receiving party, L was satisfied to see the clear outline of the perky nub.

There was no body heat radiating from the skin under the clothes... and that just wouldn't do. L had better ideas anyway, and he probably shouldn't piss off the brunette too much, or all hell would break loose if heaven forbid, Light was to wake up. Naturally, L moved onto the wondrous parts of beautiful Light Yagami he had yet to see.

_No, no moral dilemma here either,_ he thought calmly as he undid the offending zipper and slowly pulled gray uniform pants and blue stripy boxers down.

_Really,_ L grinned smugly.

He should go down for sexual harassment.

And down, _down_ the pants went...

The very inappropriate sight below him made L shift to a more comfortable position so that the beginnings of an erection he was getting wouldn't get in the way of his real plans... he licked his lips and after a few brief strokes with a pen to Light's limp and absolutely unbothered private organ earned him absolutely no reaction (like L expected it would), he slowly grasped under one of pants-clad knees and pulled the leg up so that another wonderful area came to his view.

L grinned again.

_Serves him right for being such a tease and lying about his clothes, anyway._ This wasn't about sex, though L did consider raiding the Yagami house for condoms their son might've touched and, well...

Nope, still no moral dilemma, but the exposed boy under L was beginning to shrug irritably in his deep sleep.

Hastily, L licked the round end of the pen the best he could and dove inside a few inches.

--

"So that shinigami is called Ryuk."

"Yes, Light-kun."

"And he knew about me."

Ryuk was not an exceptionally bright shinigami, but he told L many interesting and mostly useless things before he left.

"Yes, Light-kun."

"And he showed up 'cause we were onto something bad," Light hadn't gotten up yet, and he started up from the bed to where L sat away from him, perhaps too far away. His face was slightly distracted, as if trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Yes, Light-kun."

Light stared at L suspiciously.

"Something the matter, Light-kun?" L watched in amusement as Light rearranged his legs and the odd look on the brunette's face became slightly disturbed.

"No," the boy very obviously lied, shifting his legs again, "I just wish I could talk to him myself."

L wondered how long it was until he would be torn into shreds by supernatural hurricane of sharp objects.

"Hmm..." the almond-shaped eyes held about twenty very important questions, and yet all Light could do was rustle uncomfortably around L's bed, "... did he..." oh, that definitely hit the spot, "you know what, hold that thought I'll be right back."

The ethereal creature lifted himself gracefully up from L's bed and L nearly giggled as the caramel eyes widened slightly at what most likely was unexpected mild pain where pain should not be.

Light nearly ran for L's bathroom.

There were cameras there too, so L would make sure to watch the tapes later-

"L YOU FUCKING CUNT I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING DICK OFF AND FEED IT TO YOU!" the door burst open, and oh, if only very angry glares could kill and clenched fists could set things on fire.

"What is Light-kun talking about?"

"OH DON'T YOU 'WHAT-LIGHT-KUN' ME, YOU PERVERTED SHIT!" L jumped out of his chair and backed away from the approaching ball of fury with puffy cheeks and narrowed eyes.

--

"You piece of trash," Light whined from his position against the wall where he sat on the floor and hugged his knees adorably, very clearly wronged by L's actions.

L apologized again and continued cleaning the aftermath of scattered junk and paper waste.

"Son of a bitch, I hate you," Light whined again and L supposed only cute tears would make the brunette look more huggable, but Kira-chan's already injured pride wouldn't allow for cute tears, and L settled on the pouty face.

Shinigami could wait.

"I apologize I have violated Light-kun in such a wicked manner," L deadpanned again as he discarded still-bloody paperknife into a box he would hide in case another hurricane of righteousness razed his room to the ground _again._

"That's not even the worst part! You realize it's not gonna wash off, right?"

L was actually very happy that Light couldn't wash off the writing L left on Light's firm behind just to add insult to injury.

Light's perfectly round, perfectly smooth and very appealing butt, after being probed with a pen in the most despicable way now also featured the following:

A heart, _'L was here' _and an arrow.

L just couldn't resist, even if it cost him two fair nicks to the shoulder with a paperknife, one to the face, and three bruises from being hit by books that made surprisingly good projectiles.

Fair price, L noted.


End file.
